Oh, the Beauty of My Life!

I have a really hard time waiting on God's timing. I want a husband, or a boyfriend, or something and I want it NOW! Not 5 yrs from now, not next year, NOW! While I don't necessarily think now is the best time to be married or trying to get married, I would at least like to have my significant other and know that he is mine and know that we will be together soon. I don't know, maybe it all has to do with my rush to be past this phase of my life and be starting my "big girl" life and in my head a husband, or boyfriend, is part of that. On the flip side though, I would like to be established on my own before I start trying to build my life with someone else. I need to know that if something were to happen, I would be ok. I could take care of myself, pay the bills, get by on my own if something horrendous, Heaven forbid, should happen to my husband or our relationship. So, needless to say, I am torn. Not that it matters- I don't have a boyfriend to worry about and have no choice but to be self-sufficient right now.

On another note, I have been thinking a lot about what I am going to do once I graduate college. Where will I go? What will I do? What if I don't find a job? Will I finally be able to be totally self-reliant? Am I going to be able to make my student loan payments? Should I get my masters?

So. Much. To. Think. About!!!!

I have actually thought that maybe I would like to move out west, like Texas or Colorado. They have nice weather there and I would be closer to the man of my dreams- Timmy!! But, I don't know about the job market there and I would be forever away from my friends and family. That would be the epitome of starting fresh, I do believe. It's all very interesting to think about and very overwhelming, to say the least. I just feel like while I am single, and yes this does sometimes annoy me, I need to take advantage and take the opportunity to go and be and do wherever and whatever I want while I don't have anyone I have to consult or consider. I don't have children or a husband who would be affected by such a huge transition and now is the time to make those kinds of transitions. THEN I can find my man and start my family and hopefully make life transtitions together- Like when Tim gets traded to another NFL team. Yes, those will be nice! So, yes, lots of thoughts, and of course, stress to go along with! Thus, is the beauty of my life!

Lately...

I am ADDICTED to a website called Pinterest. It's a virtual pinboard where you can create as many virtual pinboards as you like and "pin" things off the internet you like and would like to remember. For example, I have one for amazing cakes people have made, one for Harry Potter, one for wedding ideas, recipes, shoes I love, movies/tv I love, etc. So far, I have 59 pinboards, 4800+ pins, and counting. You can follow one or all of other peoples' pinboards and they can follow you. It's really awesome, but beware, you will become addicted!

My semester has been super easy and wish they could all be like this. 2 out of 3 of my classes are night classes and I LOVE them. I wasn't sure how I was going to like having late classes, but it turns out, they're awesome and I will be doing my best in the future to have as many evening classes as possible.

Thanks to Pinterest, I have been finding tons of baking recipes that I have tried/want to try and using my coworkers and classmates as my guinea pigs. Things such as Nutella cupcakes, lemon cupcakes with raspberry cream cheese icing, cream cheese pound cake, etc. YUM!

There's really nothing awesome going on in my life right now. I don't really deserve to have a blog because I feel like they're for people who hav more interesting lives than I do.

Dear Grandpa,

It's been 7 years. 7 years since I held your hand, or hugged you close, or heard you laugh, or had the privilege to talk to you. 7 years since I felt like everything in the world was ok. I remember the moment I realized everything wasn't ok. I called home to get the details for my flight that day. A deacon's wife answered the phone and then gave the phone to Dad, who never gave the phone to Mom. Nothing about that was normal. I spent the rest of that day in 3 different airports, 2 different airplanes, and a very long car ride home knowing that I would never have the chance to tell you goodbye. The whole way home from Florida I couldn't wait to get home and be with my family, but once we pulled into the driveway, I didn't want to go inside. You see, I had only found out the night before that you were even in the hospital. Mom wasn't planning on telling me, but at the last minute she did. I was told you were fine and would be home Monday. Saturday morning, you were home, but not here with us. For a long time I was angry at God. I just couldn't understand why He had to take you that day. He knew I was coming home and wanted to see you. He could have waited until I had the chance to see you and at least talk to you one last time before He took you from me. It took me a long time to accept what I had known all along: He was sparing me seeing you the way you were. Because of your surgery, and having been put to sleep, your Alzheimers had progressed rapidly, and you were no longer the man we all knew. God knew how hard it would have been for me to see you like that, and He knew you didn't want to live like that and would have never wanted me to see you like. Selfishly, stupidly, I didn't care. I wanted you here, with me. I didn't care that that disease had and would continue to destroy you. I didn't care what that kind of burden would have been on our family. But now I know that God knew best and He really did have mine and your best interest at heart. He spared all of us having to live with Alzheimers, and although I miss you and think of you everyday, I know it was all for the best.
I miss you, Grandpa. You were the most amazing person in my world. I'm sorry I never told you that. I wish you could still be here and could get to know Sam and Jack, and walk me down the aisle at my wedding, but I know that you wouldn't be the same if you were here and you wouldn't trade your Heavenly home for anything this world has to offer. I love you so much. Kiss Jesus for me.

Love,
Shea

In Memory of William B. Anderson
Died July 31, 2004

Christian Kane

I love love LOVE the show Leverage, which is about a bunch of thieves/ con artists who steal from the big bad guys to help out the helpless little guys. Modern day Robin Hood, if you will. GREAT SHOW. Anyways, starring in the show Leverage, among others, is total hottie Christian Kane. TASTY!! He plays Eliot Spencer, "retrieval specialist" and fighter. Sexy. Beast. However, in addition to making my heart stop every Sunday night at 9 pm ET, he is also a country music singer and a friggin' good one too. I just bought his whole album on iTunes, which is weird because A. I am NOT a country music fan by any stretch and B. I typically just buy one or two songs, but no, I bought the whole album because it's awesome and he has an amazing voice. Mr. Kane can sing and fight for me any day of the week. Check it out. His latest album is titled House Rules and the song with the like name is awesome. Sexy Beast with a sexy voice? Yes, please!

Make Believe This

I am ADDICTED to make believe. I love it. The idea that there is a castle somewhere hidden by magic where they teach you to wave a wand and make amazing things happen is the most thrilling concept I could ever imagine. Or how about a family of sparkly undead who are indestructible and overwhelmingly rich and can LIVE FOREVER? Tell me that's not cool! Recently I read a book about a pack of werewolves called The Mating. It. Was. Amazing. Not to mention slightly predictable. The book starts out about this girl who is the daughter of the Alpha of a pack of werewolves (not ones who change by moonlight, but rather at will), who is "mated" to be with the Alpha of a different pack of werewolves, against her will. Darn arranged marriages! Anyways, the story follows the werewolf couple and their mating habits, in addition to their love story and the scandal that almost ruins it all. I got so wrapped up in the intensity of their love that it kind of makes me sad that I don't have that for myself. I do that every time. I try not to read Twilight because it makes me depressed that my boyfriend isn't a vampire and my best friend a werewolf, and that I don't have the opportunity to live forever and therefore not feel as though I am wasting away what little bit of forever I do get to live. Did you follow that? I just love make believe- getting wrapped up in a fantasy world that isn't my own and the sheer magic of it all. I LOVE IT and I sincerely wish some of it were true.

Alone Again

My sister just rolled out of my driveway, and I'm a little sad. It always makes me sad when someone I don't get to see very often comes to see me and then leaves. Don't get me wrong; I'm VERY excited to have my own bed again, but still, she's my baby sister and it's sad to see her go. I've always been this way. I'm a very sentimental person and I always wait and watch them leave until I can't see them anymore. When I was little, it made me cry, but now, as a grown-up, I manage to hold it together. Perks of being a big girl, I guess. We had a very good visit. Usually, for me and her, our max is a day or two, but we made it 3 with very little bickering. We watched movies until our brains rotted out of our heads, we've eaten until our stomachs couldn't hold another bite, and we've laid around until we could not stand the 4 walls of this house any longer and had to go somewhere, anywhere. I told her she will have to come back in a month so we can go see all the movies new to the $2 theatre in one day again. That was fun. And now the fun has passed and it's back to the real world. I go back to work tomorrow afternoon and she returns to being bored in her own house. Ahhh, I am loving my very lazy summer.

Rotting My Brains Out

Yesterday was a great day! My sister is here in town for a few days and we have been eating and doing whatever we want. Yesterday we decided to go to the $1.99 movie here in town because I wanted to see African Cats and they were actually showing it. That movie was awesome, btw, but it wasn't the only one we saw. We actually saw 3: Something Borrowed, African Cats, and Water for Elephants. I had already seen the first one, but my sister hadn't so we went and saw that. Then I insisted we see African Cats so we went and saw that, and then we both wanted to see Water for Elephants which was freakin' awesome and I need to read the book! In between the first two, we went and shared nachos at Moe's which was perfect and then in between the second two, we went and got Frozen yogurt from Tutti Frutti. Yummo! THEN we went to a Redbox and got 5 movies. We watched one last night, The Dilemma, which was ok, and then we went to bed. We got up this morning and watched You Again, followed by Due Date, which was stupid and we turned that one off. Because we had done nothing but sit around and watch movies and eat, we decided to hit up the mall and walk around a bit. We then came home and watched I Am Number Four AND IT'S AWESOME!!! I will be owning that one. Sonic was calling out names so we went and got treats from there, this Hazelnut Mocha java chiller is really good, fyi, and now we are watching The Switch, with Jason Bates and Jennifer Aniston. It's a bit slow but I'm hoping it will be good. So, that's my weekend. We have lots of leftovers in the fridge and do not need to eat out again, for sure! Well, that's my wkend!

Kayaking

I would really like to go kayaking. I know several people who go kayaking and I've always thought that's something I would like to do. Unfortunately, all of those people live in KY and that is forever away. Alas, no kayaking for me.

I really wish I had something to blog about...

I really wish I had something more interesting to say other than I hate my job and I had yet another bad day. For a while now I have been saying that it would be stupid for me to quit my job because I have good insurance that I pay practically nothing for, I have flexible hours which is good for school, and I make better money than most people in retail. However, I am beginning to feel like maybe the time has come for me to move on. I mean, this place wears me out both physically and mentally. I am tired of coming to work and having to work my butt off because there isn't enough help. I am tired of getting into stupid arguments with hateful people when they are the ones who were wrong. I am tired of my employees who think they are untouchable because they are related to people higher than me. I am tired of my fellow employees, the ones I try to take good care of, because they have taken something I have said the wrong way and complained to management- or worse, having a parent complain to management. Finally, I am tired of my blog posts being entirely about how miserable I am at work. To anyone else, the decision would be very clear: if you're miserable, find something else. To me, it isn't that simple. When I leave a place, I think about everything I would be leaving behind. For all of the bad people I deal with at work, both customers and employees, there are good ones who, sometimes, counter them. Not to mention, I am good at my job. Again, for every hateful customer I come across, there is at least one more who loves me and knows when they come to me, they are going to get friendly, speedy service. I can't tell you how many people have told me they are glad when I am working at CS because they know their Western Union isn't going to take forever, or cashing their check is going to be fast and simple. Because, I'll say it, I'm the fastest, and I'm accurate too. And compared to the two fellow employees who have gotten their panties in a wad over something I said, I have several more who tell me they really enjoy working with me or they are so glad I am working that day. Those people make me feel good. So, I am good at my job and I know what I'm doing, but I don't know how much longer I can do this. Do I really want to be stuck here for another two years? Not really, but what else is there with school? With my major, sticking just to night classes isn't entirely possible because a lot of times, with the higher level classes, they are offered once, in the middle of the day, and if you need that class, that time is the only option available. I just don't know what to do. I'm going to have to do a lot of thinking and praying about what it is I need to do.

Blah

In the interest of not wanting to sound whiny, I am not going to blog about the fact that today was, yet again, a terrible day. Nope, I'm not going to tell you about how I got cussed out by a man for something that wasn't my fault, nor am I going to tell you about how we had no courtesy clerks after 8:15 pm or a customer service person after 7:30 pm. And I'm really not going to tell you about how while I was steering in a row of carts for the last courtesy clerk of the night before he went home, I got pinned between said row of carts and big-Ford-truck that was backing out of his parking space. Nope, I'm not even going to bother mentioning any of it. I don't want to sound like I'm ranting or whining, you know.

Instead, I am just going to say that I am SUPER ready for this phase of my life to be over. I am done with retail. I am done with stupid, hateful, whiny customers. I am done with random schedules and working weekends and holidays. I. Am. Done. DONE.

Here's to tomorrow being better than today!! Sleep tight!

My Day

At work, I don't spend a lot of time on the register, but some weeks, I have one, maybe two shifts as just a plain jane cashier. Today was one of those days, but I got to spend it on express, so that made it a little better. Now, typically, we get the really pain-in-the-butt customers at customer service, but somehow I manage to get some serious doozies when I am on the register, and I had one today. This lady came through my line and handed me her keys so that I could scan her Kroger card. She then proceeded to finish unloading her groceries, so I placed her keys on the little counter where customers can write their checks. I got done scanning everything, and was double-bagging her groceries like she had asked me to when she and I have an exchange that went like this:

Customer: (points at keys) Can I have those back?
Me: Yes, ma'am. I put those there for you; I already scanned your card.
Customer: I know, but I handed those to you and you placed them there.
Me: Yes, ma'am, I scanned your card and you were unloading your groceries so I placed them there because your hands were busy.
Customer: Well, I handed those to you and you need to place them in my hands. (Holds out hand)
Me: Are you serious? (yes, I really said that)
Customer: Yes, I am
Me: (picks up keys and places them in her rudely waiting hand) Power struggle.

Yes, that interaction actually took place. I was so angry when I was counting the money back to her man-friend, my hands were shaking. I turned my register light off and went to the bathroom to cool off and then went to tell one of my managers what had happened. She told me about how she had had the same kind of encounter and how she decided that this move could potentially cost her her job and so she, too, placed the keys in the lady's hand. Honestly, I wish I hadn't done it. Job or no job. Retailers have spoiled people into thinking they can speak to associates at different stores any way they want and we just have to take it. The next time someone comes through my line and tries to pull that will have a hard time leaving if the only way they plan on getting their keys in hand is if I hand them to them.

I got over that, even though sitting here, rehashing it, makes me a little angry all over again. Next, we have this man who used to be the back-up front-end manager. That is no longer the case and he now works in the dairy department. However, he frequently comes up to the front and tries to run the front-end with his "expert" advice. I had already asked the person at customer service if I could take my break, and she said that was fine. I then asked this dairy clerk to please close me off to which he replied "who's replacing you?" I told him no one and he proceeded to tell me that the MOD wasn't going to let me go on break without someone to replace me because we have to have an express open. I told him that wasn't my problem- I wasn't the floor supervisor for the day, and he told me it was. Trust me when I say it wasn't. As just the cashier, they have to give me a break and it is not my responsibility to find a replacement for said break. Highly annoyed, I call the MOD over to tell him that said dairy clerk isn't doing anything helpful other than lending his unsolicited "expertise" and needs to go back to his department. He tells the clerk to go get the truck in the back, but then the MOD comes to me and says it wasn't a big deal and that I shouldn't be so upset about it. What? I wasn't upset; not the way the MOD thought I was. I was simply annoyed. That dairy clerk has no business coming up to our department acting like he runs it. We don't tell him how to stock eggs and milk, he need not tell me I can't go on break. He has no authority over any of us, and unless we ask him, which we won't, he needs to keep his "expertise" to himself. There is a reason he is no longer over the front end so it's high time he go on with his bad self. HMPH!!!

Whew!!! Fortunately, along with the bad customers we do have some good ones. I had a very sweet old lady, who shops at our store frequently, come through my line, and after asking me if the girls at Starbucks made good drinks, I sent her over there to ask for Amy. Well, she did and scared Amy because she thought little old lady was about to cuss her out when she walked up and called her out. No worries, all the lady wanted was a decent Starbucks beverage, which cannot be gotten with just anybody who works over there. So, there was my day. It had some very bad moments, but there were some ok moments too. I really do love most of the people I work with. A handful of them are crazy and they, in turn, make me crazy, but, thankfully, the sane ones help to keep me sane by listening to my rants and letting me get things off my chest. So, Dear Lord, thank you for my job and the good people with whom I work. Amen.

Weird

Last night I had a dream that I got married at the zoo and there were pandas at the wedding. And then I went back to the zoo to try to get them to let me pet the pandas and have regular visitation with them. While I was there, I told this girl that I had just gotten married and that's when I noticed, for the first time, that my engagement ring was white gold and the wedding band was yellow gold and BUTT UGLY!! I also realized that I had not spoken to my "husband" recently so I decided to call him and tell him he needed to get me a new wedding band that matched. Idk what happened next because that's when my phone in the real world rang and woke me up and now I have no idea who my dream husband was. Very sad moment.

In other news, it's storming like crazy here and I'm really hoping the cable doesn't go out.

Gossip

You know how they say you should love the sinner, hate the sin? Well, I find it very difficult to love those who gossip about me and stupid things, not just the gossip itself. What is wrong with people? Why do people spread things that aren't true? Seriously, I don't understand. It doesn't occur to me to tell things that either I've made up, or something that someone told me that is strictly speculation. Quite frankly, I would rather you come to me and ask me point blank "is there something going on between you and so-and-so." If there is, I will tell you, and if there isn't, I will tell you. Don't go around talking about me, spreading rumors that are absurd. And even if the things you are talking about are true, and therefore not absurd, you still have no business talking about them. I don't go around talking about you and your business, stay the heck out of mine. If there is something I want people to know, I will tell them, and trust me when I say, I am NOT going to be doing anything I need to hide, so I would have no problem telling people. Don't say anything about me you wouldn't say to my face, and I will show you the same courtesy.

There's A Whole Lotta Siftin' Goin' On!

Years ago, when I was still trying to choose a path for my life, I almost chose to go to culinary school for baking and pastry. Here lately I have been doing a lot of baking and I had forgotten how much I love it. I have recently learned to make a cream cheese pound cake from scratch and now I can't stop. I love putting the ingredients in the mixer and watching the batter come together, taking the toothpick out and watching it come out clean, knowing that my cake is finally done and perfect! It's a really awesome feeling of accomplishment. I've heard Rachael Ray say on her show that she can't bake, and that is just a concept I don't understand. Baking is easy and so much fun! Part of me wonders if I chose the wrong path, but I think I'm ok. For one thing, a culinary degree isn't absolutely essential to have a career in culinary- look at both Paula Deen and Rachael Ray! Secondly, there's nothing that says I can't choose that way later in life. In the meantime, I think I am just going to enjoy experimenting in the kitchen!

Sconyers!

My family came to see me today, and by that I mean they came to eat at Sconyers. Sconyers is a local BBQ restaurant that is owned by the former mayor of Augusta and they have the best bar-b-que HANDS DOWN! Their hash and rice is FANTASTIC, even if my brother says it looks like cat vomit (you have to remember, this kid eats pizza rolls cooked in the microwave- EWW!), and their potato salad is SLAMMIN! When it comes to local flavor, Sconyers takes the cake. Anyways, so my family came to eat at Sconyers, and while they were here, they bothered to see me. Thoughtful, I know. We had a good time and I'm glad I got to see them. I don't get to see them very often because they live 2 hours away, and between work and school, I just don't have time for a 2 hour wkend trip. We took a quick stroll around Old Navy, bought nothing, and then went to LifeWay, where Dad, of course, found plenty. Luke asked if we could go to MovieStop where they were supposedly having this huge blowout sale, not so huge or blowout in my opinion, where we found a few things, like the latest Wizard of Oz collector's edition DVD set. Awesome! It was a day that ended all too soon because they had to get home or the $50 worth of BBQ in the trunk was going to spoil. Yeah, it's that good. So, it was a good day off from work, spent well with family!

Oh, and I know I haven't mentioned this earlier, but we had a bake sale at work today, before the fam got here, and my cream cheese pound cake that I sifted flour 3 times for was a HUGE success!!! Not bad for my first pound cake, thankyouverymuch!

Spider Solitaire

I don't look at the score when I play Spider Solitaire. I find it's much easier to enjoy the game when I am not worried about points. That's not to say that I don't like to win, because what's the point in playing if you don't care anything about success? I play to win, but I don't worry about the number at the bottom of the screen. Sure, occasionally I look to see my score, but I don't let myself get worked up about it. That being said, I've decided to take up the same philosophy with my age. Instead of worrying about how I'm almost 30 and still single, still working retail, and still not done with college, I am going to not worry or think about how old I am, and just live my life to the end. I don't think I am going to tell people my age either. If I'm not worried about it, they shouldn't be either. Of course, I will always know how old I am, but I'm not going to let that define where I should be in life. Sure, most people my age are married, maybe have children, have their "big kid" jobs, and so forth, but my life isn't like their's. God has very different things in store for my life than he does for other people, and my life is where He wants it to be. It's not ideal, but I think it will all be worth it in the end. So, no more emphasis on my age, and more emphasis on my life, where it is headed, and how I am going to get there.

Just A Few Thoughts...

I went to TN this past wkend to see one of my best friends from high school get married. She looked beautiful and her husband seems like a very nice man. (Oddly enough, I still haven't officially met him!) They had such a sweet wedding, and her dress that her aunt made was absolutely beautiful! I am sooo happy for my sweet friend Sara STANTON!! and her husband Micah! I love you and I wish you both the best!


Tonight I hung out with my new friend, Raychel, who works at the Starbucks in my store. She is just plain awesome! She is here in Augusta for a year, at least, while her husband is overseas in Korea. I don't know how she or any of the other military wives do that. I'm not married so I cannot even begin to understand, but I can only imagine what it would be like to be without my husband for a whole year. Anyways, she and I went to dinner tonight and I got to know her a little better. She is just awesome!! We are very much alike and yet very different and I think she is going to end up being a good friend!

So, I got two different phone calls today from two different coworkers who called to tell me about one issue. Another coworker went upstairs and complained on me because I offended her yesterday. What did mean old Shea do?? I asked her if she and her STAPH infection were still contagious. Well, I think I have a right to ask and a right to know because this is my health here and I do not want a freaking staph infection. If that offends you, tough. If I choose to bathe myself in hand sanitizer after touching something you have been touching, I am going to do it, and if that offends you, tough. If I choose to come behind you and do a lysol wipedown of the surfaces you have been touching, I will, and if that offends you, tough. Trying to keep myself clean and healthy is not a matter of your comfort. If that offends you, tough.

I'm having a lazy summer and I am LOVING it.

Those are all my thoughts for now. Stay tuned....

Revolver Globe!

After MUCH frustration of trying to get it onto my blog, I FINALLY I have the revolver globe to the left of my posts. Check it out!! See yourself??

Allow me to be a little bit selfish....

Another friend is engaged, which means, this time next year, another friend will be married. I'm very happy for my friend. She is such a wonderful person and one of my best friends, and the man she is going to marry seems like a really nice guy. I knew when I started seeing the phrase "I love you" appearing on his Facebook wall that the engagement would be soon. What I didn't know was how I was going to feel about that. Of course, I'm sooo excited for her. She's getting married!! But I'm not so excited for myself. She will be married this time next year, and I am certain to be still unmarried, still unengaged, and still undating. You see, it's all very discouraging. I am truly beginning to wonder what is wrong with me that I not only don't have a boyfriend, but I don't even have any prospects. I feel like screaming at God right now asking Him why He has forgotten about me. Part of me knows that God has amazing things in store for me, but is being single FOREVER really necessary????

Things I Could Not Live Without.....

iPod
Cell phone
Camera
My "Dianky"
Chapstick
Laptop
Car
Sweet tea!
Toothbrush/paste

There are so many more! It's easy for me to say that I couldn't live without my listening device, or my link to the outside world, but notice I haven't listed anything that I truly could not live without: clean drinking water, food, roof over my head (not absolutely essential, but still). There are people all over the world who do without those essentials on a daily basis. If there is a question about where my next meal will come from, it isn't about how I am going to get it, it's about where do I want to get it. I don't scavenger trash cans and dumpsters for food and water or build a shack with cardboard boxes. I don't have to walk the streets day and night because I have nowhere to go and nowhere to be. I don't spend holidays alone because I don't have friends and family and it doesn't occur to me NOT to make a Christmas list. All of these things just are for me. I want them and there they are. Food is in the fridge, sweet tea is half price at Sonic between 2-4, and my iPod not being charged is a crisis. I have gas in my car and if I want to go somewhere, I go. This isn't a pedastal and I'm not preaching. I was just thinking about how much I love my stuff, and then it occurred to me that not only do majority of the people in this world not have these things, they have so much LESS. And the real kicker is, you don't have to go to a third-world country to see people in need. These people easily live in the house down the street, or sleep under the bridge on 15th St. So the next time I am complaining to myself that I would like a new Vera Bradley or a new outfit, perhaps I should just remind myself of the little girl sitting in class on Friday thinking about the food she won't get at home over the weekend.

I Like Me...

I like myself and the person I have become. I have worked very hard to learn from not only my own mistakes, but also the mistakes of others. I'm certainly not perfect, but I do have a lot of good qualities. I look back at the person I was in high school, and even going into my early 20s, and I don't really like that person. She was moody, and rude, and uncaring, and selfish. She was not a very pleasant person to be around. I like to think I have changed a lot from that girl. Since then, I have realized that I was moody and that I have the power to control that. I can choose my mood and I can choose the attitude I want to have from day to day. Nobody likes to be around somebody who is always grouchy or whose demeaner can change in a quick minute. Most people like to be around others who are nice, and who smile and have a positive attitude. That wasn't always me, but I like to think that it is now. Of course, I have my moments when I am genuinely not in a good mood, but those moments are few and far between, at least I hope. Especially when I am at work, I try to smile and be bright and cheery. A long time ago, that was a foreign concept, but now it's my usual demeaner.

There are other things too. For example, I like the fact that I'm not overly girly, but I am certainly not a tomboy either. I like to put on my makeup and look pretty, but I also like to put my hair in a ponytail and wear my Adidas pants and a tshirt. I call it my "sporty" look, even if I am NOT sporty at all!!! Of course, my diamond earrings and Pandora bracelet will be present for either dress up or dress down. I like the fact that I like to exercise, even if I am not always disciplined to do it regularly. It makes me feel good that I enjoy doing something that is beneficial to my health. I also like how BOLD I have become. I'm really not afraid of anything or anybody. Recently, I made a very bold move and did something I would have never dreamed of before. I got one good date out of the deal, and that's all, but just knowing that I went after something and a little good came from it, enables me to do something like that in the future. Not the necessary stalking part, for those of you who know what I am talking about!! Honestly, doing that was very liberating for such a conservative little girl! I'm also incredibly loyal. As long as I become loyal to you, I am pretty much that way for life. Even if for some reason we end on bad terms, I am probably going to do right by you no matter what. I've never been a backstabber, to anyone, and I certainly wouldn't do that to someone I cared about or to whom I am loyal, which are kind of one in the same. I also don't do grudges. Sure, I might not like you, and if I don't you will know it, but I will not hold something against you. I will always be cordial to you, despite not liking you, but I will not hold a grudge against you. "Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Of course, I have bad qualities too, but I kind of think that some of them make me somewhat charming and a little quirky. I am not a sympathetic person- AT ALL! I have zero sympathy for anything or anybody. If someone starts crying around me, I have to leave the room. It makes me very uncomfortable. I mean, I can feel bad for someone, and I can feel bad about something, but I don't really do sympathy. Next, I am ridiculously bossy!!! I boss my bosses around, and I kind of always have. It's not a disrespect thing, it's just a Shea thing. I am a bossy person and once people get to know me, they realize that that is just my personality. I'm not trying to be ugly or rude; I am just bossy in nature. Character flaw? I'm not sure. Something to work on, for sure, but not an overall bad quality. Oh, and I am so sarcastic it is crazy. If I didn't know any better, I would say that sarcasm is my love language. It's like I can't help myself. Most people find me funny, but there are many times when it is just plain rude. Again, something to work on but not entirely bad.

Not so fabulous day...

My day started out very well, but did not end that way. This morning I got to work and then bought a White chocolate mocha frap from starbucks. Soon after, my stomach started hurting and did not quit until around 8 pm.

Around midday, one of my coworkers approached me telling me that our interaction the night before was "unnecesary" and if I had a problem, I should have pulled her aside and spoken to her about it. Um, what? Last night I asked her what kind of cookies she was passing out (I knew they were peanut butter, which cannot be passed out bc of allergies) to which she replied that they were from the bakery, and she put her finger in my face to tell me I just needed to listen to her (while she told me, yet again, that they were from the bakery...like I didn't know that). So today, she confronts me in front of about 30 customers to tell me that last night was unnecessary and that I am on a power trip and she is my elder, and blah blah blah. I pretty much told her to go away and I was not going to talk to her. She continues to yell at me as she is walking away that the reason I told her to go away was because I knew I was wrong. Noooo, I told her to go away because she is an idiot and there is nothing she can say that could possibly enlightening. I knew I was not the only one who had had these kinds of interactions with her, b/c I had already had 2 conversations with 2 different people who work more closely with her than I do about how hateful she is and how she goes around telling people how things work. Um, she has worked there for about 3 months, meanwhile the rest of us have been there a lot longer. They're thinking of putting her in my department. Joy. Needless to say, I stopped by my boss's office on my way out to tell him about this and that, in my opinion, she was out of control and needed to be addressed. He told me I was the 5th person to come talk to him (today alone) about her and he would be addressing ALL of her issues tonight. Hmph.

Finally, I got to leave that place, not to return until Monday afternoon, and I came home, tummy ache and all, and took a shower and went to bed. I'm home alone for the night. All the doors are locked and the alarm is set. Creepy Lebanese man does not know where I live, that I know of, so no worries there. Btw, I have decided that he is trying to kidnap me and sell me into the sex trade/human trafficking. I really don't think I am just being paranoid.

I've Lost My Phone. Again.

I went to my parent's house this weekend. Thursday, my sister and I went to the outdoor mall to shop for Mother's Day/Birthday presents for my Mom, Grandmother, and Stepmother, but I had no luck. I just do not know what to get for my Stepmother. I know that she LOVES Georgia Bulldogs, but that's about it. She doesn't really carry Vera Bradley, she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry, so I just don't know. And I'm still thinking about it. My Mom and Grandma are much easier to buy for, but I still didn't find them anything. I already have my Grandma something for one or the other, (her bday is also in May) I just hope she hasn't already ordered one for herself, since she had voiced that she wanted this. Now I just need to find her something for the other holiday. Once again, I'm at a loss, but I at least have SOME ideas. My mom, while easy to buy for, is also hard to buy for- she's told me to take something back before. She doesn't wear jewelry, but she has decided that she wants this jewelry armoire, so I thought about getting her a MC gift card to put towards that, but I HATE giving gift cards. If that's what she wants, and I can give her money to pay for it, that will work. IDK, yet. Dilemma dilemma.

In other news, I've lost my phone again. At my parent's house. Hope I find it sooner than a month this time.

I'm FREEEE!!!

Top Things on My To-Do List:

Catch up on Vampire Diaries, Nikita, Fringe, One Tree Hill, Swamp People, etc
Read books on my Nook I have had for a while now
Play Harry Potter LEGO on Wii
Watch movies
Sleep

I've been in school for a year straight, and now I have A WHOLE MONTH before I have to start summer classes. I don't know what to do with myself!! It's really nice to be able to catch up on my shows without thinking about all the other things I should be doing. Very. Good. Feeling!!

Forgive Me... and this will totally be boring

I have been a terrible blogger. I would like to say that the only reason I haven't blogged lately is because I have been blogging for my Humanities class, but that's probably not true. Were it not for those humanities blog posts, this blog might not have had any new posts at all. Well, lots has happened since we last spoke. My second spring semester at ASU is coming to a close, and I think things are going pretty well. I took my Spanish final yesterday, Monday, I have my humanities essay exam and my Environmental Biology test. Noon, Monday cannot get here fast enough!!

On another note,I had thought that I was not going to take any classes this summer, but I have changed my mind. Instead, I will be finishing my Spanish core this summer with my new friend Jessica! I had been looking forward to not having to worry about being studious, or feeling guilty for reading my nook or playing Harry Potter LEGO because surely there is something I should be studying, but it will be nice to have my Spanish class out of the way. Of course, this means I will have a hole to fill in the fall, but that shouldn't be too hard.

In addition to all of that, I have decided to change my major. Right now, my major is Public Relations, but I have decided to change it to Communication Studies, which is still in the same department so I will not be set back at all! And, originally my minor was going to be Spanish, but I just can't take it anymore!! so, I'm thinking of either Psychology or Sociology. I will probably take a few classes in both to help me decide which one, if either.

In other news, I have absolutely nothing going on. This semester I have met some really great people, starting with Jessica, who is my Spanish friend and is just amazing. She and I are like-minded people who have a heart to figure out what it is God wants for us in life and pursue that whole-heartedly. Next there's Katie J., who I met in Aerobics. She and I have hung out and just had fun being spontaneous and care-free. Then there's Katie H., who was in my Bio class this semester and who is an awesome study partner/waste water treatment plant cut-up/"snake charmer" friend. And of course, I can't not give an honorable mention to Wevo, Lindsay, Stanton, Megan, and the hilarious boys who sit behind me in Hum.

That's all for now. I have some other, hilarious, work stories, but those will have to wait for another time. I'm supposed to be writing a paper and studying...

Personal Reflection

I have thoroughly enjoyed my humanities class this semester. Not only because it gave me the opportunity to read things I would not have otherwise read for myself, but it piqued my interest to the point where I would like to read some of the works we read in part in class in their entirety. Having been raised by an English teacher, I have a thorough appreciation for literature and the literature portion of this class reiterated that point even more. I also enjoyed learning new pieces of art as well as ones that most people are already familiar and the culture around which they were created.


What I didn’t like about the class was that it was definitely three classes all rolled into one. While that wouldn’t normally be a bad thing, the fact that we have this class we are getting 4 hours credit for and doing the work for roughly 8 hours credit was a bit overwhelming at times. I also didn’t feel that the professors in the course worked well together in tying each of the three aspects of the course together to make a clear connection between the them. For both the midterm and the final we are asked to write two essays tying the literature, art, and music together within the cultures using the concepts, but there was never a clear connection made in class. The literature portion, which was by far the best, was the only section of the class that thoroughly discussed the concepts and their relevance to the literature. The other two did not even mention the concepts or make any connection to each other or the literature.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and in looking back at my performance in this class, I did not put forth the effort that I A) intended to put forth and B) was required by the course. There is no doubt that my grade will reflect that- I just hope that I pass! I will be taking Humn 2002 in the fall (with you) and now that I have this insight into the course and understand a little better how things work, I will be better prepared for higher success in my next humanities course.



Word Count: 370

Blog 9 Understanding of the Upcoming IDEE

Yes, I understand that the format for the essay has changed, and I understand the format itself. Personally, this will make my essay-writing a lot easier and smoother. I had difficulty applying multiple concepts to two different cultures within 3 categories: art, literature, and music. The fact that this essay is in a more traditional format will make things much better.


Yes, I do have a general understanding of how and why these cultures and periods are different and alike, but I will need to look at them more closely in order to fully make a decision on which 2 cultures I will write.

For the themes, again, I will have to look at the cultures more closely in order to make a firm decision on which theme I will choose to tie into these cultures/periods. I do, however, like that we are now able to choose our own themes.

I am in no way prepared for this upcoming IDEE, so I will now write on my plan to prepare myself.

First of all, I need to print out and study carefully the slides for the literature portion of the cultures. Not only do I need to develop a firm grasp on the concepts, but I also need to be able to look at the texts and make clear connections between the concepts and the events taking place in the reading. Next, in reference to the literature, I need to read through the texts more closely now that we have discussed them in class and apply what has been said to what I am reading. Once I have done this, I can narrow down the two cultures on which I would like to write and start coming up with a theme for each or one that will apply to both.

Next, for the art and music, I need to look over my class notes and print off the relevant music slides so that I can apply the concepts and the theme to the pieces on which I am supposed to write.



Word Count: 341

I was trying to wait for my midterm.... Blog 7

I was trying to hold off until I got my midterm exam back, but that would mean this blog would be really late. So, I am going to write about my midterm and how I feel it compared to those we looked over in class, as well as what I learned from the essays we looked at in class and how I am preparing for the final exam.


My paper earned a D, which I thought was somewhat surprising. I didn’t expect an A, or even a B, but I was hoping for a low C. Without looking at my exam and being able to analyze it after the fact, it’s hard to decide if I believe I truly earned that D, or if I still feel like I did better. In looking over the essays in class, I didn’t necessarily feel like any of those essays were bad, but they were simple. It appeared to me that they just basically explained the cultures and their concepts. There wasn’t a lot of tying those cultures and concepts into the themes, and in some of the essays, a clear thesis was not stated. For my essay, I feel like I had a clearly stated thesis and tied the concepts in with the theme and my thesis. Now, for me, it was easier to do this with the literature. It was very simple to pull examples from the literature and attach them to the theme I had chosen, and apply the concepts to those examples. The art and music were a little bit harder. Honestly, I was really struggling to apply my theme and the concepts to those two aspects of the cultures. For this reason, I knew my grade would not be exceptional, but I still didn’t expect a D.

Looking over the essays of my peers was very helpful. It really helped me get a better grasp on what was expected of me for the final essay exam. In preparation for the final, I feel like I am better able to prepare myself mentally for the exam because I have a better understanding of what the professors are looking for and what is being asked of me. I have gotten my notebook organized and looking over the concepts before the readings, I am better able to pull out those concepts and tie them into the readings as opposed to trying to make the concepts fit into the readings. This will prove very beneficial to me for the final because I won’t have to work so hard to make things fit. Instead, I actually see why and how they fit.

Mosque: Islamic Society of Augusta

In visiting the Islamic Mosque yesterday, I learned a great deal about the Islamic faith. Since 9/11, there have been many negative connotations around the word “Muslim.” I was even taught, before 9/11 ever happened, that Muslims were raised to hate Christians. At the Mosque, I learned something completely different.


The Imam taught us about the different kinds of Muslims. The first are the Muslims who are Muslims simply because they were born that way. They don’t have any concept of Mohammed, they have never read the Qur’an, and they are not familiar with the 5 Pillars. If you were to ask them anything of the Islamic faith, they would not be able to answer.

The second kind of Muslim is the practicing Muslim. These Muslims practice the Islamic faith, but they are not full believers. They don’t truly believe in the prophet Mohammed, they don’t take the Qur’an to heart, and they don’t practice the 5 Pillars. They practice Islam, but they don’t fully believe.

The third kind of Muslim is the Faithful Believer. These Muslims practice the 5 Pillars:

1. One God only. Mohammed is the messenger.

2. 5 Prayers a day: dawn, noon, afternoon, sunset, evening

3. Fast one month of the year based on the lunar calendar. No food or drink from dawn until sunset.

4. Pay charity: 2 1/2 % of their savings, not income.

5. Pilgrimage to Mecca

Faithful Muslims also believe in the following 6 things:

1. Oneness of God

2. Belief in angels of God

3. All prophets and messengers: Mohammed, Abraham, etc

4. All 3: Qur’an, Torah, Bible

5. Everything is under the control of God. There are no accidents or coincidences- Hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis- all under God’s control.

6. Judgment Day, Resurrection: Paradise or Hell Fire

The Imam also spoke about the differences of Muslims vs. other faiths. Muslims believe that God wants everyone to be on the same level, that all may know each other despite their differences. Differences don’t have to make everyone enemies.

He also spoke of the reason a woman must cover her head. They practice this because it says in the Qur’an that a woman must cover her hair, and one who chooses not to cover her hair must shave it off. Women are not required to cover their hair, but not doing so will be between her and God on judgment day. In addition to women covering their heads, the men are encouraged to wear a beard. Again, he is not required to do so, but it is strongly encouraged.

Word Count: 426

I'm Definitely Panicking!!! Blog 5

This test coming up on Friday has me stressed out enough, but when I think about the upcoming interdisciplinary essay, I question why I wanted to come back to school. Whose idea was this? Seriously though, I don’t feel like I completely understand what is expected of me as far as writing the essay goes. Establishing a thesis, answering a question, comparing cultures, tying all of this in with the music and the art, etc. I am honestly lost! I understand that doing all of the blog prompts and reading questions and music analysis is all to prepare us for the analysis of the material as a whole, but I can’t help but wonder why we couldn’t just have a multiple choice test and listen to the music clip and have to identify it with a culture. I really like this class, but at the same time, I hate it.


On a different note, I really do like this class. I don’t have a lot of appreciation for music, I mean, I like Pitbull and Lady Gaga, so there’s not a whole lot to appreciate other than a catchy tune, but I am learning to appreciate music a little more thanks to this class. I will say that while I am whining about what is expected of us as far as the interdisciplinary essay is concerned, I am actually learning to appreciate the music and art in relation to the literature and the time period. For example, today we learned that the Romans used music to express power and intimidation, and I could totally see how they achieved that. Relating that concept to that of the Star Wars theme songs helped me to identity these expressions of power and intimidation even more. Listening to the clips today, I wasn’t intimidated by the music but I think that was 1. Because it wasn’t meant to intimidate me and 2. Because I knew that. I knew there weren’t any Roman soldiers and musicians waiting outside out building waiting to take over our lives but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t able to put my head into a mindset to understand the possibility of power and intimidation.

Word Count: 363

Judaism- Synagogue

When I am learning about different religions and different cultures, I try to be open-minded because I understand that my religion and culture is probably very different and hard to understand to people of a different faith or culture. Going into the Synagogue, I had a very vague idea of what the Jewish faith was, but I didn’t realize how different it was from my own faith, Christianity. I do not want to get into a Christian debate, but I was surprised to learn that they do not believe Jesus to be the Messiah, or the Christ. They’re still waiting.

It was also interesting to hear the Rabbi talk about slavery and being delivered from Egypt. The Rabbi spoke about how they’re not free until everyone is free. That was a very interesting point to me, because it is true. We here in America are a free country; free to do and say as we think and feel, but there are so many in this nation and in the world who are either under the control of another or have to hide what they believe just to be allowed to live.

I was very impressed with the scrolls and his ability to speak and read Hebrew. Honestly, it just looks like chicken scratch to me and I don’t understand how people can use that in a way to communicate. My dad is a pastor and knows many Hebrew words and phrases, but that was nothing compared to this man’s ability to speak and read it on a daily basis. I also thought that the scrolls were kind of a neat concept. They’re something special to that congregation that they keep in a special place in addition to the Tanakh. The work that goes into the copies of scrolls is amazing and adds to the idea of how special they really are.

Word count: 311

This is late, I realize, but I somehow got mixed up and thought it wasn't due until this Friday.

Classical Greece Analysis- Socrates

In the beginning of this piece, Socrates is told that there is no man wiser than himself, and his reaction, to me, is a bit unpredictable: he believes he can find someone wiser. Perhaps it is the difference in the times, but it seems as though if a man is told he is he wisest of them all, he doesn't choose not to believe it or disprove it, he becomes smug, arrogant and walks around believing he is the wisest of them all. Not Socrates. Instead, Socrates goes on a mission to find some man who is wiser than himself. He goes to the politicians and the poets thinking certainly there is a man among those groups who holds more wisdom than himself. What he finds, though, is that because of their own ignorance at not realizing they are the not the wisest, they are not wiser than him. That is what sets Socrates apart; the fact that he knows his limitations. Being the wisest doesn't mean being the smartest, it means knowing better. Socrates knows better than to speak of things he doesn't know anything about. He knows better than to believe some oracle about himself without testing to see if it is true. He knows doesn't know everything, he just knows better. That, in itself, is what makes Socrates the wisest of them all.

The more I wrote about the piece, the more I understood the assignment and what was expected of me. This probably isn't that great, but it did get me thinking about what makes wisdom wisdom and why Socrates has the most. To me, wisdom comes from experience and choosing to learn rather than thinking you know all the answers, but before this I had never really put a lot of thought into it.