So Much So Much So Much

I have decided that I do not want to do what I have been going to school to do. There are several problems with this:

1. What a waste of time!
2. The degree I will be graduating with in no way prepares me for the degree I want to pursue.
3. By taking the classes that prepare me for this new degree, I will be in school for another year taking night classes while working in the field I do not want to be in.
4. I could potentially spend this year taking these necessary 8 classes and then still not get into a program meaning that....
5. No. 4 is another waste of my time!!!!

Why oh why couldn't I have figured this out so much sooner?!?!?! I am not yet ready to share what it is that I want to do, so please don't ask. And if you know, please don't tell. If I want you to know, I will volunteer this information. :) Anywho, so I am in a major "I don't know what to do!!!" life crisis right now.

Here is what I am worried about:

• My grades won't be good enough
• I will spend a year taking these classes and getting in the necessary volunteer time and won't get into the program and then I have to figure something else out.
• I will be broke as a joke in the meantime and during this program
• Assuming I get in, I will be 32 before I can actually begin my career. 32!!!!

A little about this and why it worries me:

• Only four programs in my area
• Each of those four programs only allows roughly 35 students in each year
• Very competitive program to get into
• 8 classes to get under my belt before I start the program
• More student loans!

Ugh! Please pray that God would lead me in the right direction and allow everything to fall into place and that I would have a peace about this if indeed I am supposed to pursue this.