Dear Grandpa,

It's been 7 years. 7 years since I held your hand, or hugged you close, or heard you laugh, or had the privilege to talk to you. 7 years since I felt like everything in the world was ok. I remember the moment I realized everything wasn't ok. I called home to get the details for my flight that day. A deacon's wife answered the phone and then gave the phone to Dad, who never gave the phone to Mom. Nothing about that was normal. I spent the rest of that day in 3 different airports, 2 different airplanes, and a very long car ride home knowing that I would never have the chance to tell you goodbye. The whole way home from Florida I couldn't wait to get home and be with my family, but once we pulled into the driveway, I didn't want to go inside. You see, I had only found out the night before that you were even in the hospital. Mom wasn't planning on telling me, but at the last minute she did. I was told you were fine and would be home Monday. Saturday morning, you were home, but not here with us. For a long time I was angry at God. I just couldn't understand why He had to take you that day. He knew I was coming home and wanted to see you. He could have waited until I had the chance to see you and at least talk to you one last time before He took you from me. It took me a long time to accept what I had known all along: He was sparing me seeing you the way you were. Because of your surgery, and having been put to sleep, your Alzheimers had progressed rapidly, and you were no longer the man we all knew. God knew how hard it would have been for me to see you like that, and He knew you didn't want to live like that and would have never wanted me to see you like. Selfishly, stupidly, I didn't care. I wanted you here, with me. I didn't care that that disease had and would continue to destroy you. I didn't care what that kind of burden would have been on our family. But now I know that God knew best and He really did have mine and your best interest at heart. He spared all of us having to live with Alzheimers, and although I miss you and think of you everyday, I know it was all for the best.
I miss you, Grandpa. You were the most amazing person in my world. I'm sorry I never told you that. I wish you could still be here and could get to know Sam and Jack, and walk me down the aisle at my wedding, but I know that you wouldn't be the same if you were here and you wouldn't trade your Heavenly home for anything this world has to offer. I love you so much. Kiss Jesus for me.

Love,
Shea

In Memory of William B. Anderson
Died July 31, 2004