I'm sorry

I should have told you how I felt. Not when I got angry or was throwing myself a pity party, but really told you how I felt so that we could talk about it. That's what we do. What I said to you was downright hurtful and uncalled for. They say people hurt us out of their own pain, and that's true in this case. I was hurt, and I wanted you to know it. I felt like you had chosen somebody else over me. Someone you felt like was worthy of your time and attention and I was just a filler. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that was how I felt until I typed that message out and sent it. Hindsight is 20/20 and my hindsight has never been so perfect. You asked me why I was upset, and I gave you the truth as I saw it. That was the truth, don't get me wrong, but I guess this was also the truth. Your friendship means more to me than any silly crush or argument. I told you I LOVE how we are and I meant it. I love you, and I hope you still love me too.

This Week

Well, I haven't been very good about posting what I am thankful for, so here goes. This week I am thankful for...

Honey for my toast- I have fallen in love with honey! And I like to eat it with butter and toast.
Being off from work 4 days in a row every week- need I say more?
Netflix- Oh how I adore my tv!
Pedicures- Because I love being pampered!
Hot showers- Not everyone has them

These are just a few....the ones I didn't post like I had planned. In my own defense, I really don't get on FB a lot.

Give Thanks Challenge

My Grandmother and I were talking today and she mentioned that the women in her women's group are going to start keeping a "Thankful" journal- a journal they can use to record the things they are thankful for. It's easy to sit around and think about all the things I don't have:

• a husband
• a "big girl" job
• total independence
• lots of money
• the ability to go to Europe in the near future
• college degree (almost!!)
• and the list goes on....

But when it comes time to give thanks for the things that I do have, I hear crickets. Here is a running total of all the things I have to be thankful for, no matter how big or small

• hot water for a shower
• honey for my toast
• free roof over my head
• family that loves me
• my job
• school
• my faith
• my independence- my car, money, ability to walk around on my own
• freedom to make my own decisions and choose my own beliefs
• pedicures

Here is my challenge for myself and for you. For the next 30 days, put one thing each day you are thankful for on your Facebook status, Twitter, Blog, etc. It can be anything from paying off your car that month or having enough milk for cereal for breakfast that day. We tend to take things like hot water and remote controls for granted, when the truth of the matter is that there are people who don't get to bathe everyday or who don't know when their next meal will be. I don't mean people in Third-World countries; I mean children in our schools, families in our churches, and our neighborhoods.

So Much So Much So Much

I have decided that I do not want to do what I have been going to school to do. There are several problems with this:

1. What a waste of time!
2. The degree I will be graduating with in no way prepares me for the degree I want to pursue.
3. By taking the classes that prepare me for this new degree, I will be in school for another year taking night classes while working in the field I do not want to be in.
4. I could potentially spend this year taking these necessary 8 classes and then still not get into a program meaning that....
5. No. 4 is another waste of my time!!!!

Why oh why couldn't I have figured this out so much sooner?!?!?! I am not yet ready to share what it is that I want to do, so please don't ask. And if you know, please don't tell. If I want you to know, I will volunteer this information. :) Anywho, so I am in a major "I don't know what to do!!!" life crisis right now.

Here is what I am worried about:

• My grades won't be good enough
• I will spend a year taking these classes and getting in the necessary volunteer time and won't get into the program and then I have to figure something else out.
• I will be broke as a joke in the meantime and during this program
• Assuming I get in, I will be 32 before I can actually begin my career. 32!!!!

A little about this and why it worries me:

• Only four programs in my area
• Each of those four programs only allows roughly 35 students in each year
• Very competitive program to get into
• 8 classes to get under my belt before I start the program
• More student loans!

Ugh! Please pray that God would lead me in the right direction and allow everything to fall into place and that I would have a peace about this if indeed I am supposed to pursue this.

Little this, little that

So on our way to Atlanta yesterday morning, my sister and I hit a very big tire from an 18-wheeler that ripped the grill off the front of her car and left a huge dent in the hood. Fabulous! Fortunately that was the only damage- no broken windshield or anything- and we made it back to Augusta safely yesterday afternoon.

Today we came to SC where I will be until Sunday evening. I actually got the whole weekend off without requesting it, so that was a nice surprise! Mom, Stevie, and I are working on craft projects we found on Pinterest. So far we have made the crayon canvas things, the platter stand thing made with plates and candlesticks, and are getting ready to put pictures on wood with modge podge. We are some seriously crafty ladies.

I have been taking a break from Facebook since my vacation. I didn't get on FB the entire time I was on vacation and I have not really been on there very much since I got back. I haven't posted a single status since before I left for Myrtle Beach, but I have posted a picture (of the tire damage) and my blog posts. After taking time off from FB, you realize how stupid it is to sit there for long periods of time and read every post. Don't get me wrong, I like knowing what's going on in the lives of my friends- the whole point is to keep up- but I do not care to spend hours at a time just staring at  FB. I even moved the app from the "home screen" on my phone to one of the other pages that I swipe to so as not to be tempted to get on there from sheer boredom.

I started this post for a reason- there was something awesome I was going to put here- but I don't remember what that was, so I am going to end this post and maybe it will come to me later. 

Adventures in Online Dating

Can they really be called adventures if one hasn't been on a date with any of the creeps yet?

OK, I joined Match.com a while ago and so far, not so good. I have been "winked" at by men older than my dad and I have gotten emails from "men" who still read comic books regularly.

One of those men, whose profile says he is 39 but his pictures say he has had nine too many 39th birthdays, emailed me and asked me to "hang out." Well, that night I had to work late, as in 1 am, so I emailed back without realizing he was a definite no and told him I was working overnight and so maybe another time. He emailed me again that same night and said

 "Call me as soon as you get home and I will come over and we can hang out and be night owls."and his phone number.

Needless to say, I never replied. A couple of weeks later, he sent me another email. This one said

"Can we talk? You seem cute and sweet and in need of a good guy. Call me..."and his phone number.

Seriously, dude? Yeah, then right after that his "caption" on his profile read: Love BIG bouncy hooters. Clearly I shouldn't have passed this one up.

Then I got winked at and emailed by an overgrown teenager who claims to be an adult. He still reads comic books regularly while he drinks his kool-aid. No joke.

Then I got IMed by a guy who only talks about the woes of his high school years. He is older than me so I am thinking it is DEFINITELY time for him to let it go.

Then today I got emailed by someone who has already called me "sexy lady" twice, told me he bets I am probably a good kisser and can't wait to find out, and wants me to come to his house (an hour and a half away) so he can make me dinner.

Are any of these people normal? Is that too much to ask?

Progress!

Yesterday I started cleaning my room and getting everything organized and CLEAN! I unpacked my weekender from when I went to see my family about 2-3 weeks ago, I washed and folded ALL of my laundry, and my floor can not only be seen, it actually has the opportunity to be vacuumed. That's been a while! I cleaned out the trunk of my car, cleaned off my dresser, reorganized my bookshelf, dusted EVERYTHING, and cleared out the corner of piled up junk that I had been neglecting because I didn't know what to do with all of it. Ahhh, I can actually relax in my bedroom now because there is not a possibility of being swallowed up or tripping all over all the crap that was everywhere. Truth is, I have way too much stuff. I am only one person and it should not be legal for one person to acquire so much stuff. I mean, I have stuff that I don't want to throw away but I have no idea what to do with it. A frisbee, for example. I don't want to throw it away because I might get the urge to play frisbee...with whom, I don't know, but I definitely need this frisbee. But in the meantime, what do I do with a frisbee??? My closet is full of books that need to be put in storage and clothes that I can't wear this season because I would die of a heat stroke if I did, so there is no room for a frisbee. Gah! Oh what a world! No, just my world that is full of straight up junk.

In other news, I think I am losing weight, but I am not entirely sure because I haven't weighed in a while. I have been eating less and working out and I think I am doing well because my clothes are starting to feel too big. Awesome news but still frustrating because I am in that stage where I need new clothes but don't want to buy any because I anticipate losing more weight. My plan is to hold off for the summer and buy some new "staples" for the start of school. Hopefully by then I will seriously need new jeans and I will buy a few new pairs! Any excuse to buy new clothes....

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for reading about my boring life!